SEX…..its sort of a taboo subject for many. You’re in luck, I am totally okay discussing it I am clearly a very secure & open individual. ASK me anything I will answer it honestly I have nothing to hide and really no shame either.
A lot of my male readers have been asking me a lot of sex and relationship based questions and I wanted to address them and give you guys my thoughts on SPICING up your sex life.
I may be getting a divorce but I can assure you my sex life is RED HOT. Yes I am dating and yes I am having sex. Women enter their sexual prime in their late 30’s-early 40’s so these are pretty much the best of times for the sex vixen in all of us ladies, game ON!
When I talk to women who are either my peers or a bit older I pretty much get the same consensus that they just aren’t having very much sex. One friend of mine just confided in me that she and her husband haven’t had sex in 7 years? 7 years?! I would actually die I think.
I have Latin blood in my veins so I am a hot blooded sexual being. I love to dress sexy, be sexy, and express my sexuality in a healthy and frequent manner. I do not see a thing wrong with having an active sex life that is safe and mutual. I think it is really sad that people stop having sex in their marriage and I know that it is something that can be worked on and fixed as long as both partners are willing to do so and want to do so.
Let’s discuss some of the issues that can cause this sexual solitude.
When you get married and start a family life gets hectic. Children can get in the way of an otherwise healthy and active sex life, I know this for a fact because I have 3 kids of my own. Women have a tendency to feel unsexy after babies and they may dote on the children almost at a detriment to their relationship with their partner or husband. This is totally normal and happens to us all, getting out of that rut is where it gets critical.
DATE NIGHT. Seems like such a simple concept yet it really is SO important to the relationship you have no idea. If you are not spending adult time with your partner then you are not truly connecting with them. You need to start dating your spouse or partner again after kids. Flirt, court, dress up for them. Do all of the things that you did at the beginning of the relationship. I feel like women and men become complacent after marriage and kids and let the interpersonal relationship and the woo-ing fall to the wayside. I say ABSOLUTELY not. I can attest to that happening in my own marriage paired with so many other factors that led to its demise. You have to fall in love again otherwise it simply isn’t going to work.
A lot of my married guy friends always say to me “my wife is always paying attention to the kids and never to me” okay that may be true but that may also be because you aren’t helping as much with the kids or you aren’t spending enough time alone together. Weekends away just the two of you, date nights in a hotel staycations etc. dinners and getaways will allow you to reconnect and realize what made you two get married and want children in the first place.
Losing the baby weight. They say it took 9 months to put the weight on it should take 9 to take it off. I know I will be criticized for my thoughts on this statement but I am entitled to my opinion. I say that is a TOTAL COP- OUT. You can lose most of your baby weight in 3-6 months and you should for your own self image and self worth and frankly don’t you want to look good naked? If you looked better naked I guarantee you would be seducing your husband/partner more. I really place a ton of value on maintaining your pre-baby body and staying in shape when you look good you feel good it really is that simple. And when you feel good you have more energy and when you have more energy you will want to have more SEX! This applies to men as well. I see you putting on that sympathy weight when your wife is pregnant and eating too many wings and pizza watching Sunday night football. The husband/partner needs to stay in shape as well this isn’t a one sided situation. Exercise together get a trainer do it on the weekends it is fun to work out with your partner it can create some healthy support and motivation and it creates yet another activity you can do together without the kids.
The art of seduction. When your sex life is stale you need to breathe some new life into it. See a sex therapist, watch some seductive movies together, visit a sex store and get some new bedroom toys and last but not least go out lingerie shopping with your partner. Eat some oysters and have some champagne..BE SEXY what do you have to lose? Role playing is also a really fun way to spice up your sex life. Pull a Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon move from the movie “Four Christmases” where they would go on dates as other people with different names and wigs and different personas. Ok so going out in public pretending to be someone you’re not is not your comfort zone that’s okay but I am sure you can role play within the comfort of your own home.
Lastly, I want to mention that I know not everyone has a lot of child care. Recruit friends and family members to watch your kids for an overnight or for a weekend and reciprocate the favor. You would be surprised how many people would help you out if you just ask.
Okay I have given you some good tools here now get out there and GET SEXY!